"I'm old, Gandalf. I know I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart. I feel... thin. Sort of stretched, like... butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday. A very long holiday. And I don't expect I shall return. In fact I mean not to." Bilbo Baggins in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Ever feel like this? Okay, okay, not the old part. But the rest of it? Or maybe you do feel old sometimes. I can understand that. I don't feel old, I just feel ... streeeeeeeeeeeetched.
I know what I want, what really is most important. I know I will never look back in reflection and think, I really wish I had have gone out with this person more, or visited that person more, or been here and done that. I know that I will think about the time I spent with my children. Was it enough? Was it good? Did I make the most of the talents God entrusted to me and Westley? and the answers I want to have to those questions are "yes; yes it was better than good, it was brilliant; and yes!" I want to look back and think, "wow, I spent A LOT of time with my children. That was time well spent."
So, I've been a-thinkin again... I plan to go on a holiday from what has become normal life. I need to simplify, pull-back and spend more time at home and enjoy my sweet children's childhoods with them. It is a holiday I plan to enjoy and I think I may not return from it. In fact, I almost do not mean to.
My friend from Singapore visited and stayed with us for 2 weeks. She asked me if I felt like I was on a permenant holiday. My response at the time was "no" but I dwelled on that thought and realized that I just had to change my perspective so yes, now I do think that I'm on holiday...with my family every single day. Can totally see where you're coming from. ;) life's so much better when you're on holiday too!
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