"Rude lady picture"

Last weekend I was running between some shops in a local shopping centre. For the first time I noticed a shop opposite one of the major grocery stores with a poster in the window about a metre and a half wide and two metres long. The picture was immediately offensive to me as I recognised it for what it really was. I will delicately call it a "rude lady picture". I was shocked, grossed out and very happy that Westley had taken the children to the car already so they weren't seeing it also. Instantly I knew I had to do something about it.

This was way out of my comfort zone. I do not like to create conflict or confrontation - I will usually avoid it at all costs, but I couldn't this time. I knew I needed to speak up on behalf of the innocence of all the children who walk past this shop.  So, in I went and politely informed the shop assistant (who turned out to be the owner, a middle aged woman) that I found the picture offensive and why. She was defensive, telling me that I should just not look at it if I wanted to and that I needed to direct any complaints to centre management. So I did, and guess what? The poster is now down! Seems I was not the only one to take action and our efforts combined resulted in the shop owner reluctantly removing the disgusting image (to sell!! It should be binned not sold, but I have no say in that unfortunately).

I basically wanted to encourage you all out there to speak up when you find something rude or offensive. In my case, the littlest thing of a verbal complaint and follow-up phone call was enough to right this wrong. Our children are precious gifts with young innocent minds. Let's protect our children and others children, by doing our best to instil value and worth in our women. This has given me hope that maybe we have more control beyond our immediate homes to limit or delay this rottenness penetrating the world.

Feeling stretched...

"I'm old, Gandalf. I know I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart. I feel... thin. Sort of stretched, like... butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday. A very long holiday. And I don't expect I shall return. In fact I mean not to." Bilbo Baggins in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Ever feel like this? Okay, okay, not the old part. But the rest of it? Or maybe you do feel old sometimes. I can understand that. I don't feel old, I just feel ... streeeeeeeeeeeetched.

I know what I want, what really is most important. I know I will never look back in reflection and think, I really wish I had have gone out with this person more, or visited that person more, or been here and done that. I know that I will think about the time I spent with my children. Was it enough? Was it good? Did I make the most of the talents God entrusted to me and Westley? and the answers I want to have to those questions are "yes; yes it was better than good, it was brilliant; and yes!" I want to look back and think, "wow, I spent A LOT of time with my children. That was time well spent."

So, I've been a-thinkin again... I plan to go on a holiday from what has become normal life. I need to simplify, pull-back and spend more time at home and enjoy my sweet children's childhoods with them. It is a holiday I plan to enjoy and I think I may not return from it. In fact, I almost do not mean to.

Favourite homeschooling moment this week...

Favourite homeschooling moment this week was teaching Sunshine the difference between the number 3 and a capital E. We were in a coffee shop, I had no pen and I kept getting confused doing it back-to-front in the air to her, so I poured some water on the table and wrote with my finger, the water being my ink. She got it and I marvelled at how easy and fun educating at home is.

COFFEE!! oh why I love thee...

Coffee is amazing. God made the coffee beans and like all of His creation, there is so much love in coffee beans. I love coffee. God made me to love coffee too. Here are 10 of the reasons why I-love-me-coffee:

1. It creates atmospheres, which I like to revisit over and over.
2. It stimulates good conversation between friends and loved ones.
3. It creates common ground between strangers.
4. The strong bitter flavour makes me sit up and pay attention.
5. It is hot and when I hold it, smell it and drink it, I feel warm.
6. It is comforting.
7. The creaminess makes me feel full.
8. It gives me drive to get through boring work and it makes the boring work fun!
9. It makes hard tasks feel easier; pretty much anything is achievable with a strong coffee under your belt!
10. It gives me something to do, when I don't know what to do.

Coffee is great. Thankyou Lord for the coffee bean!

Dare I say it?? [contraception]

Who knows about this? What a difficult topic to navigate! I am only bringing it up because it has been on my mind... a lot. There is not a great amount of talk out there about it, and it is almost a shameful thing to talk about, but I need to talk about it. I need to figure it out and make a decision that has major implications for the course of my family.

Historically I have taken the pill. Until about 7 years ago I met a woman who explained to me how rotten those pills actually are. What they did to my body, how they messed me up etc. [Here is a really entertaining article on the pill which sums up how I feel pretty well]. So, since then we have only relied on barrier methods and some really loose kind of natural avoidance measures. This woman practiced a form of natural family planning. Well I knew that everyone else thought that was totally crazy-talk so there was no way on earth I would do that too, I mean natural family planning doesn't work, don't you know??? It worked for her though. But that didn't mean much to me at that point in my life. Then, children was a scary thing. I was trying to establish a career, I had only been married for 4 years too (only...). We were young. We shouldn't be having children. I wanted to be pregnant though, but I held back my internal desires for at least 18 months after that...

Did you know that pretty much every method of non-natural contraception (excluding condoms) is capable of creating early abortions? I didn't! But now I do. Does everyone know this (it happens that sometimes I miss out on pieces of information that the rest of the world knows - ignorance is bliss for me, remember?) I think most people don't... I know some won't care. I do care. I care a lot. Life starts at the moment of conception. I tell you, I do not want to get to judgement day and have God look at me and show me the lives I (albeit, unconsciously) ended in my quest to avoid having more children.

Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that I think we need to do our best to also be bearing children as much as we possibly can either. Yesterday I read an awesome article - Motive: The Christian and Birth Control. I liked it because it referenced the Bible :) and what it said, made sense to me. It is seriously worth a read (it is short but succinct). Basically, I have no problem with choosing to use birth control in my family, but the kind of birth control used is what is important. Always remembering, "it is God who is the author of human life (Deuteronomy 32:39)" not us (quoted from the above article). If God chooses to bless us, he will. If we choose to be blessed with another child, we will change our behaviour and open ourselves to God's blessing.

But ahhh yes, natural family planning methods have a high failure rate. You know what I say to that? Two things.

1. That is them, not me. I don't know how vigilant they were, when they may have taken a calculated risk, or when I might. There are many people out there that it did/does work for. I believe it is intensely specific for the individual and couple as to how successful this method will be/is.
2. Is it such a bad thing if I had another or another couple of children? I already know that every child is purposed by the Lord. I am in a Godly, secure marriage. When God created marriage and the family unit, it was for a safe place for children to be raised. I may not actively seek more children, but as I quoted the article referenced above "God is the author of life" and if he sends me more, then I will be the soft place for them to be born and raised.

So added to my new journey is discovering how on earth I will translate natural family planning into our life. I guess I will have to get to know my body better... gosh, how modern medicines have caused me to be lazy! You know what though, I will figure this out and I can not wait to educate my daughters and son(s) about this so when they are married, they have it sorted and know what to do, should they too decide to practice birth control.

Braving the big smoke for the day on your own with 3 young children

Yesterday was a beautiful 20 degrees and instantly I thought, I must take advantage and do something fun outside. Westley jokingly asked me to meet him for lunch in the city and, never one to turn down a trip to the city, I thought it was a great idea! I love the city!! I love the buildings, the shops, the history, the coffee, the buzz. I just love visiting the city. But it's different visiting the city when you have 3 young children with you. I can't wander the shops aimlessly, I can't drag them around indulging in all my whims. I can't go down narrow alleyways where the stroller won't fit. I've noticed that when I look around, I never, ever, ever see another mum there alone with 3 littlies... So, I have learnt and refined my process and developed strategies and tips that I thought I'd share incase you are like me, loving the city but too scared to brave it alone with your littlies. I hope they help :)

PLAN YOUR TRIP

• Think of a combination of what your children might like to visit or do and what you would like and how you can visit all places.
• Be realistic, visiting a million places will be really difficult, so pick 3 or so places ahead of time and plan which you will visit first, second and third, etc.
• How are you going to get there. Train, drive, where will you park? What times are the trains running? I keep the schedule uploaded on my iphone for the whole day so if it looks like I might miss the train, I know when the next one is.
• Pack snacks, lunch and water. We take snacks to eat on the train - this is a must for us as it keeps them sitting. If they have been well behaved, I plan a treat for on the train ride home. 
• Find out where there are good, clean toilets/parents rooms to visit. In my city, the major department stores are well equiped. I schedule the toilet trips into the journey so we are never caught out.
• Allow plenty of time. My trains are very infrequent so I don't want to miss them, but walking along a busy sidewalk with a stroller and two children either side of you is slow, so allow much more time than you think.
• After 5 years of trips to the city with children we have a bit of a routine that we kind of stick to and that helps the children prepare and know what to expect.
• Sometimes there are free seasonal activities put on by local tourism, government and/or big department stores. We have a few Christmas activities we like to do each year that the children and me just LOVE. Where we live, there are some websites that are dedicated to advertising these events. Just be mindful that if it is school holidays or on the weekend, it will probably be crazy! 

ON THE JOURNEY

• Be considerate of others. City-folk are way more tollerant of children if they can see you are trying to keep them well behaved and engaged. I talk like I think everyone might be listening (because they probably are!).
• Try to anticipate your childs behaviour before they do it. If Sweet-pea is getting wriggly in her seat and starts kicking her legs around I will say something like "Sweet-pea, we need to be considerate of the other passangers and we don't want you to accidently knock this lady's knees so please sit still". Sweet-pea is then prepared to be careful and the lady is much more understanding if Sweet-pea does knock her.
• Don't stress, remain calm at all times. It shows others that you are in control (even if you don't feel like you are).
• Engage with your children. I try not to be on the phone at all, but entirely engaged with them. Talking to them about what they can see which might be interesting to them, or just general chit-chat about normal stuff. Point out weird things like icons, buildings, where you used to work, etc.
• Safety. I am always mindful of educating my children about being safe, not crazy talk, just basic knowledge to keep them safe. I can't hold each of their hands at the same time so it is important for the older ones to know that vehicles travel fast. Not to walk on or past the safety line at the station. Only crossing the road when the lights say it is ok. Stay close to me at all times, etc.
• Boundaries. We set boundaries for the children so that they are free to be children but within certain limits. For example, in the coffee shop we allow them to move around and touch stuff and play as long as they stay within a certain boundary. Everytime we go to this coffee shop it is the same and they know, they are not allowed to go beyond a certain point in that coffee shop.

AN OPPORTUNITY TO EDUCATE

• I like to talk to my children about social norms, what is acceptable behaviour, what isn't. Why we hold on to the rail on a tram, even though it is fun not too. When it is acceptable to talk loudly and when we should try to talk quietly and consider others, and when we should "whisper in Mum's ear". My girls love to exclaim at the top of their lungs "Mum, that lady looks funny" or "Mum, I'm busting, I can't hold on" - strangers don't really need to know that kind of thing.
• Yesterday I gave Sweet-pea and Sunshine each $1 to pick something to buy as a treat for on the train on the way home. I took them to a lolly shop and they got to see how far $1 goes and to interact in a transaction with a shop-keeper. Among other things, I am teaching them commerce and how the transfer of money for goods works in a 'real' way for them.

TIME IS A-CHANGING

• I have learnt to be mindful that as my children get older, move into new stages or with the addition of new babies, the trip changes shape. I keep the one same peg - lunch with Daddy at a certain coffee shop (we take our lunch but buy a coffee) - and work the other things around it so it suits our family at that particular stage.

LEARNINGS
The project manager in me is always assessing and analysing these questions:

1. What worked well?
2. What didn't work well?
1. What can be changed to make this work well on future trips?

By answering those questions I have been able to refine our trips to be successful, over and over. Any difficulty can be learnt from and improved upon, don't give up :)

Desperate to create - part 2

Oh dear, I am so slack, I realised about midnight last night that I still have not uploaded pics of my sewing project. Here are a few snaps from the day! Please excuse the quality, they were taken on my iphone, which is kinda hit and miss.

First up, we have the fabric (free! thanks Mum, and my new purchase - tailors chalk and matching thread - Mum says to always buy the big reels of thread as they work out cheaper in the long run - chalk and thread cost about $10 for both).

One of these days I'll learn how to orientate the pics to landscape. Westley, can you please help me with this?

Here we have our first sewing lesson. Don't you just love impromptu lessons? This is Sunshine learning to press the pedal while spooling the bobbin.

The finished product got the thumbs-up! Project success! One happy daughter :)

So in the end I kind of just used a measuring tape for straight lines, pins, and a bowl for the neckline (learnt that on a Martha Stewart episode). Then I just fumbled my way through. It took me about 3 hours. It is no great masterpiece, but it looks fine, is warm, Sweet-pea loves it and I got more experience. One big learning I took from it is that I didn't allow enough room under her arms. Sweet-pea is a skinny-mini so I thought I had, and was surprised to see just how much room we need under there. So, always allow lots of room under the arms. Or just follow a pattern ;)

How I intoduced regular bible study to my children

I have always thought it a good thing to be able to start the day with reading the bible or time alone with God. Who wouldn't love to brave the day knowing he/she was already grounded in God's word or His Spirit? Would our behaviour be different? Would our thoughts be different? Would our day turn out differently? For me, the answer is yes. But it isn't easy, and I know for some people this is not the right time of the day for them. Westley for example, is not a morning person. His best time with God is in the evening, when it is dark and he can be outside, alone.

As a parent educator, I am often thinking about the habits I can teach my children, while they are young, so they can each be the best person they can be when they are adults. It is important to me that they have a personal relationship with the Lord, and I want to help them the best way I can. So I have started mini-bible studies with Sunshine and Sweet-pea. They have been responding well and by doing it in the morning, each day feels like a success. It is working for now. It may not always work and there may be interruptions from time to time, but I hope to continue with it as long as it is still working for us. So if you are wondering, this is what I do...

PREPARATION

• I read the paragraph sometime before I sit down with the children, so I am prepared for translating into a language they understand.

METHOD
In the morning not long after we wake up...

• I give them a 5-10 minute warning that we are about to do our bible reading together.
• I make a cup of tea.
• I get the beanbags out ready for them to sit on, and I sit down in my reading seat.
• I ask the girls to join me, Harrison has a beanbag too, but he is free to come and go as he pleases.
• We recap on the highlights of the previous day (or two if required) to set the scene for the new reading.
• I tell them I am going to read the scripture (about a paragraph, or theme - you know how chapters are split up under headings - I just kind of pick one of those chunks under a heading).
• I read it to them from my bible, the New King James version.
• I explain in language they understand the main points that happened.
• I ask them a few questions to check they listened to me.
• Now the fun part - drawing! I ask them to draw something from the story. I will usually ask Sunshine to write something too, which is me telling her the letters to write. 
• Then they get to show Daddy their awesome work and feel totally proud of the great job they did.

We have started with Luke, as I know my girls are excited by and a bit familiar with Jesus's birth so I thought it would increase their interest. So far so good, they ask me about it on the weekend because I haven't been doing it on weekends so I think that is a good sign :)