Braving the big smoke for the day on your own with 3 young children

Yesterday was a beautiful 20 degrees and instantly I thought, I must take advantage and do something fun outside. Westley jokingly asked me to meet him for lunch in the city and, never one to turn down a trip to the city, I thought it was a great idea! I love the city!! I love the buildings, the shops, the history, the coffee, the buzz. I just love visiting the city. But it's different visiting the city when you have 3 young children with you. I can't wander the shops aimlessly, I can't drag them around indulging in all my whims. I can't go down narrow alleyways where the stroller won't fit. I've noticed that when I look around, I never, ever, ever see another mum there alone with 3 littlies... So, I have learnt and refined my process and developed strategies and tips that I thought I'd share incase you are like me, loving the city but too scared to brave it alone with your littlies. I hope they help :)

PLAN YOUR TRIP

• Think of a combination of what your children might like to visit or do and what you would like and how you can visit all places.
• Be realistic, visiting a million places will be really difficult, so pick 3 or so places ahead of time and plan which you will visit first, second and third, etc.
• How are you going to get there. Train, drive, where will you park? What times are the trains running? I keep the schedule uploaded on my iphone for the whole day so if it looks like I might miss the train, I know when the next one is.
• Pack snacks, lunch and water. We take snacks to eat on the train - this is a must for us as it keeps them sitting. If they have been well behaved, I plan a treat for on the train ride home. 
• Find out where there are good, clean toilets/parents rooms to visit. In my city, the major department stores are well equiped. I schedule the toilet trips into the journey so we are never caught out.
• Allow plenty of time. My trains are very infrequent so I don't want to miss them, but walking along a busy sidewalk with a stroller and two children either side of you is slow, so allow much more time than you think.
• After 5 years of trips to the city with children we have a bit of a routine that we kind of stick to and that helps the children prepare and know what to expect.
• Sometimes there are free seasonal activities put on by local tourism, government and/or big department stores. We have a few Christmas activities we like to do each year that the children and me just LOVE. Where we live, there are some websites that are dedicated to advertising these events. Just be mindful that if it is school holidays or on the weekend, it will probably be crazy! 

ON THE JOURNEY

• Be considerate of others. City-folk are way more tollerant of children if they can see you are trying to keep them well behaved and engaged. I talk like I think everyone might be listening (because they probably are!).
• Try to anticipate your childs behaviour before they do it. If Sweet-pea is getting wriggly in her seat and starts kicking her legs around I will say something like "Sweet-pea, we need to be considerate of the other passangers and we don't want you to accidently knock this lady's knees so please sit still". Sweet-pea is then prepared to be careful and the lady is much more understanding if Sweet-pea does knock her.
• Don't stress, remain calm at all times. It shows others that you are in control (even if you don't feel like you are).
• Engage with your children. I try not to be on the phone at all, but entirely engaged with them. Talking to them about what they can see which might be interesting to them, or just general chit-chat about normal stuff. Point out weird things like icons, buildings, where you used to work, etc.
• Safety. I am always mindful of educating my children about being safe, not crazy talk, just basic knowledge to keep them safe. I can't hold each of their hands at the same time so it is important for the older ones to know that vehicles travel fast. Not to walk on or past the safety line at the station. Only crossing the road when the lights say it is ok. Stay close to me at all times, etc.
• Boundaries. We set boundaries for the children so that they are free to be children but within certain limits. For example, in the coffee shop we allow them to move around and touch stuff and play as long as they stay within a certain boundary. Everytime we go to this coffee shop it is the same and they know, they are not allowed to go beyond a certain point in that coffee shop.

AN OPPORTUNITY TO EDUCATE

• I like to talk to my children about social norms, what is acceptable behaviour, what isn't. Why we hold on to the rail on a tram, even though it is fun not too. When it is acceptable to talk loudly and when we should try to talk quietly and consider others, and when we should "whisper in Mum's ear". My girls love to exclaim at the top of their lungs "Mum, that lady looks funny" or "Mum, I'm busting, I can't hold on" - strangers don't really need to know that kind of thing.
• Yesterday I gave Sweet-pea and Sunshine each $1 to pick something to buy as a treat for on the train on the way home. I took them to a lolly shop and they got to see how far $1 goes and to interact in a transaction with a shop-keeper. Among other things, I am teaching them commerce and how the transfer of money for goods works in a 'real' way for them.

TIME IS A-CHANGING

• I have learnt to be mindful that as my children get older, move into new stages or with the addition of new babies, the trip changes shape. I keep the one same peg - lunch with Daddy at a certain coffee shop (we take our lunch but buy a coffee) - and work the other things around it so it suits our family at that particular stage.

LEARNINGS
The project manager in me is always assessing and analysing these questions:

1. What worked well?
2. What didn't work well?
1. What can be changed to make this work well on future trips?

By answering those questions I have been able to refine our trips to be successful, over and over. Any difficulty can be learnt from and improved upon, don't give up :)