Dare I say it?? [contraception]

Who knows about this? What a difficult topic to navigate! I am only bringing it up because it has been on my mind... a lot. There is not a great amount of talk out there about it, and it is almost a shameful thing to talk about, but I need to talk about it. I need to figure it out and make a decision that has major implications for the course of my family.

Historically I have taken the pill. Until about 7 years ago I met a woman who explained to me how rotten those pills actually are. What they did to my body, how they messed me up etc. [Here is a really entertaining article on the pill which sums up how I feel pretty well]. So, since then we have only relied on barrier methods and some really loose kind of natural avoidance measures. This woman practiced a form of natural family planning. Well I knew that everyone else thought that was totally crazy-talk so there was no way on earth I would do that too, I mean natural family planning doesn't work, don't you know??? It worked for her though. But that didn't mean much to me at that point in my life. Then, children was a scary thing. I was trying to establish a career, I had only been married for 4 years too (only...). We were young. We shouldn't be having children. I wanted to be pregnant though, but I held back my internal desires for at least 18 months after that...

Did you know that pretty much every method of non-natural contraception (excluding condoms) is capable of creating early abortions? I didn't! But now I do. Does everyone know this (it happens that sometimes I miss out on pieces of information that the rest of the world knows - ignorance is bliss for me, remember?) I think most people don't... I know some won't care. I do care. I care a lot. Life starts at the moment of conception. I tell you, I do not want to get to judgement day and have God look at me and show me the lives I (albeit, unconsciously) ended in my quest to avoid having more children.

Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that I think we need to do our best to also be bearing children as much as we possibly can either. Yesterday I read an awesome article - Motive: The Christian and Birth Control. I liked it because it referenced the Bible :) and what it said, made sense to me. It is seriously worth a read (it is short but succinct). Basically, I have no problem with choosing to use birth control in my family, but the kind of birth control used is what is important. Always remembering, "it is God who is the author of human life (Deuteronomy 32:39)" not us (quoted from the above article). If God chooses to bless us, he will. If we choose to be blessed with another child, we will change our behaviour and open ourselves to God's blessing.

But ahhh yes, natural family planning methods have a high failure rate. You know what I say to that? Two things.

1. That is them, not me. I don't know how vigilant they were, when they may have taken a calculated risk, or when I might. There are many people out there that it did/does work for. I believe it is intensely specific for the individual and couple as to how successful this method will be/is.
2. Is it such a bad thing if I had another or another couple of children? I already know that every child is purposed by the Lord. I am in a Godly, secure marriage. When God created marriage and the family unit, it was for a safe place for children to be raised. I may not actively seek more children, but as I quoted the article referenced above "God is the author of life" and if he sends me more, then I will be the soft place for them to be born and raised.

So added to my new journey is discovering how on earth I will translate natural family planning into our life. I guess I will have to get to know my body better... gosh, how modern medicines have caused me to be lazy! You know what though, I will figure this out and I can not wait to educate my daughters and son(s) about this so when they are married, they have it sorted and know what to do, should they too decide to practice birth control.