Learning Peace

God is teaching me about peace.

I am a stress head. I stress and worry a lot. If there is nothing to stress or worry about, then I will find something however meaningless to stress and worry over. It will usually be an issue for me for a couple of days and then it will pass and I will find something new to stress about. I don't like it. It is a heavy way to live. To avoid it, I have developed a mechanism of well, avoiding it, so when I am feeling strong, I stick my head in the sand. Being an ostrich, my husband says. Ignorance truly is bliss for me. It feels peaceful, until reality smacks me in the face, or I open the door to actually thinking about it. So I am thinking that this peace that I think I have is actually not peace at all. This way of living is a contradiction to the life I am called to live in God. Far from freedom.

I've heard lots of stories about how our personal problems and failings in our personality are magnified through our children and this is something I do not want to pass on to my children. I want them to know peace, true peace that is promised to them as heirs to the kingdom of heaven. Not ignorance, but true peace despite the storm they may be passing through. I want this for me and for them. How wonderful to go through life with a peaceful heart no matter what you are going through.

A couple of weeks ago, the Holy Spirit gave me a word through a visiting pastor at my church. He said my mind is like a clothes dryer, going round and round. I'd never thought of it like that. It is exactly how it feels. The loads change but my mind keeps going round and round, drying out the new thoughts. I love hearing words from the Holy Spirit. Why does it amaze me so much that God could have such and accurate understanding of my mind and care enough to help me fix it? But I guess that is another topic. Anyway, the pastor said I need to go back to God's word. So I have started to study peace in the bible. I went out, bought a new notebook and embarked on my new spiritual adventure of learning peace, the true peace that is my (born again) birth-right.